Childhood roller coaster of choice

I contribute to a local on-line newspaper in Elk Grove. On it, I posted my blog piece about the Disneyland trip. I figured I'd get no responses. But, I was wrong. There is one person, a fellow blogger on the site, who wanted to discuss an important issue, but did not want to do it in a rational manner. He was angry about middle schoolers going to Disneyland, and he let me know.
Here is my response:

The funniest thing happens when you run a classroom, (I don't mean funny ha, ha; but funny "mmmm...") if you are at all paying attention you discover that everyone learns so differently. If you pay attention for several years, you see that what is fun or funny changes with the times.

Media and technology have exploded in my lifetime. Heck, they've exploded in a ten year olds life time! We have access to every thing all the time. Whether or not that has done us any good, is debatable. Whether or not it has done children any good, is debated often at schools across Elk Grove.
Recently, a reader commented about the trip I took with my 8th graders that had not changed in 40 years. Though I think his concern about this trip was misplaced, he has a point about childhood speeding up. I think any parent can tell you that things happen so fast, that children have too many choices, that it all seems so out of control.

Yet, the stop to the childhood revolving door is parents. Parents can say "no".  If choices are offered or ideas floated that your family doesn't like, parents can say, "no". Don't tell me schools or society or the media or whatever shouldn't even allow some things to be choices for students of certain ages; you are the parent, say "no". I see parents do it all the time. No excuses, just "Our family doesn't do that/ wear that/ live like that." And the student is better for it.

Teaching middle schoolers, I see them transition from little kids at 11 or 12 years old, to the doorstep of their future at 13 or 14 years old. The standards in California allow for them to become more sophisticated in their thinking. When we start in Pre-Algebra, there is much the 7th grader is not able to grasp, simply because of brain development. As students move through 8th grade, they become aware of nuance or slight changes. They pick up ideas and concepts that were difficult when they were younger and they begin to make startling discoveries about the world. They begin to see that their parents are infallible and they dislike hypocrisy because they recognize it.
This is when students who have parents who have limited their choices push back. They really want to do what everyone else is doing.  They tell you, "its alright for you. It must be alright for me." It is a hard time. Probably the most difficult one you experience as a parent. Stay strong. If you stay the course, you'll find reward later in life.

Sound simplistic? I know I do. But really, sticking to your ideals as a parent is the hardest thing we do. I was not infallible. I don't think you are either. We make mistakes, we learn as much or more than our children do. I think its important to keep an open mind and listen. Sometimes, they can talk you into changing your mind, all for the better.

Disneyland with 8th graders

We just came back from Disneyland Sunday morning at 5:30 a.m. I chaperoned on the 8th grade field trip. It is the one where we leave school at 10:30 p.m.  on Friday and return around 6 a.m. on Sunday. Yes, we sleep on the bus. (I should say, they sleep on the bus. I didn't sleep much) Thank goodness its Spring Break! I'm tired.
We stopped at a Home Town Buffet in Buena Vista, a stone's throw from Disneyland and ate. The 70 or so kids we took filled several plates of meat, eggs, cinnamon rolls, etc. It was as if they had never eaten in their lives.  Everyone used the bathroom to change, some kids even brushed their teeth! The girls did what 13 year old girls do best, they primped...combed their hair and put make up on and dressed in provocative clothing. I reminded several girls that was probably cold outside, but they ignored me. We got on the bus again and arrived at Disneyland at 8:30 a.m.
Our Activities Director had us so organized, no room for doubt existed. We were the purple team. I handed out tickets, exchanged cell numbers with the worried and reminded them all to see me in front of Cinderella's castle at 3 p.m. And we were off!
This time I had several kids who chose to hang out with me and and another chaperon. These kids had never been, so I figured after they got their bearings, they'd be off on their own. It didn't happen. Our group just grew throughout the day. A couple of kids didn't bring enough money for food. Others spent it all on souvenirs early in the day. But the other chaperon I was with must have bought lunch or dinner for several of those kids. What could we do? It was a long day.
I found myself pointing out the free water spigots and getting everyone to refill water bottles. We ate everything bad for us we could find. We laughed a lot. And then it started raining and we had to go back to our bus, our mother ship.
As I checked in my team, I asked them all what they enjoyed the most about their day. The responses were fun; princesses (from the 14 year old boys), feeling free to do what they wanted (no parents to tell them "no"), and sitting out of the rain. We arrived in the school parking lot a little wiser. The kids were tired, but more confident about themselves. I was heartened about the future of our community. I am glad to know this group of kids. They see the world differently. I like them for it.